I am not a saint – have never pretended to be one. So it will probably not surprise you one iota to know that I lost it today. But not without reason, for today, my beloved middle child WROTE ON THE COVER OF MY BEAUTIFUL PINK DELL LAPTOP WITH A PEN. AN INK PEN.

And I did not kill him. I did not beat him. I did not even yell at him or give him a guilt trip. I just called my husband and after yelling into the phone for a full five minutes, finally got quiet and listened to his sage advice: do not let him in on your emotional attachment to your computer.

Ouch.

Yes, it’s true – I am attached to my computer. My mother gave us all some money when my grandmother passed away and I spent mine on my very own laptop. It was a big deal when I bought it. I wanted the PINK one because I am the only girl in this family and I wanted everyone to know it was mine! And now it has a poorly written blue “m” on it.

But does it matter to me more than Matthew? Of course not. It can’t compete. It’s just a computer and it will be obsolete in a few minutes, anyway – probably already is. But Matthew – he and I have a long lifetime of relationship that will (hopefully) continue into eternity, depending on what he chooses to do about Jesus. And that’s a pretty big deal.

Matthew was very sorry when I went up to talk to him. He started crying immediately. I pulled him into my arms and said I forgave him. And I was able to say that because I had already forgiven him before I stepped into his room.

I never ever want one of my children to think they matter less to me than some of my “stuff”. Yes, I did lose it today but I am so thankful my husband was the only one who heard me get so upset over my silly computer.

And maybe, just maybe I will come across some magical solution that removes ink from computer lids. A girl can hope, can’t she?