Sunday morning, we were picking Peter and Matthew up from Sunday school before heading to the morning service. As a matter of course, we always take both boys to the restroom and make them at least try to go. Matthew happened to be with me (Peter insists he is too big for the woman’s restroom – and frankly, he probably is) and had a long shirt that required some effort to tuck in. I said over my shoulder on the way into the restroom “Come with me and when you’re done, I can help you tuck in that shirt.” He took me literally, following me not just into the restroom, but also into the stall!
It wasn’t worth quibbling about, and we were in a hurry, so I let him go first. He lifted the seat and pulled down his pants, then looked up at me and said “Mommy, would you like to go with me?”
Uh…no.
But what I said was “Honey, mommy can’t go potty standing up.” Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking ahead because then he countered with “Why not?”
Yeah, why not? Why can’t mommy go potty standing up???
I scrambled in my brain for an answer, then finally said “Well, Mommy doesn’t have the same plumbing that you have.” He looked up at me like I was crazy and said “What do you mean, plumbing?”
I should have seen that coming, too.
“Well, I just mean that whenIgopottyIhavetositdownandaren’tyoudonenowwhydon’tyoustandoverhereandIcan helpyoutuckinyourshirtherefacethedoorwhileItuckinyourshirt.”
When I stopped to take a breath, he said “Mommy, you know those things in the men’s restroom? The ones that look like potties but you can’t sit on them? How come they-”
“YouknowMatthewIjusthavenoideabecauseI’veneverbeeninamen’srestroomsoyouwilljust havetoaskyourdaddybuthe’snothererightnowishesolet’sjusthurryupandfinishinheresothat youcangoaskhim”
We then exited the stall to find one of my friends standing there, laughing her head off.
Of course, she can laugh – she only has girls!