Prior to flying 8+ hours we were still smiling. At the end, not so much.
[Originally posted on 8.25.2012]
I’ve done something radical. Life altering. HUGE. And extremely frightening.
Yesterday, I went to Ron Lyon’s Ultimate Body Fitness studio here in Frisco (the one I’ve driven by a million times) and joined.
You read that right. I joined what is essentially a 20 week boot camp (or booty camp as I once heard someone call it).
I. Joined. a. 20. Week. Boot. Camp.
Me.
I paid money – a lot of it – for the privilege of coming to a building 5 days a week and being pushed physically beyond where I thought I could ever go.
Oh yeah, and I also get to READ TO EVERYONE IN THE GROUP what I have eaten all day every day. I paid for that, too.
I sat through a 3 hour orientation then cried on the way home.
What have I done???
This is the craziest thing I have ever done. Ever.
So to start my 20 weeks of healthy eating, I’m eating Pirates Booty Aged White Cheddar Rice Puffs. With Spongebob Sqaurepants on the front. And on Monday I will have to admit to this and do 20 push ups. But ya know what??? I don’t care. I’m not sure I’m even going back to that place. So what if I signed up for 20 weeks and will have to pay regardless. So what if this is my last chance and if I don’t do this I will never ever lose this weight.
[I’m now eating pretzels – Tiny Twists Cheddar to be exact – since I finished off the other.]
Did you know that on his eating plan, I can only eat complex carbs? And that bananas are not considered complex enough? Seriously? Bananas??? Whole wheat bread is out – only whole grain will do. Even brown rice is not good enough!!! Seriously!!!
[Now I’m drinking a can of Coke. Washes down the pretzels nicely.]
My 3 little motivators
So here’s the thing. Ron Lyon, the owner, founder, whatever-you-call-it of this place did our orientation this morning. 3 hours of listening to him lecture. When he asked us to write down our goals, I was brutally honest – I’ll copy them here:
- I want to lose 100 pounds.
- I want to be able to run again.
- I want to lose as much weight as possible and be in the best shape of my life by Dec. 22nd.
- I want to change my life expectancy.
- I want to change forever – not just 20 weeks, but forever.
- I want to be an example to my kids, especially Peter.
I certainly wasn’t expecting him to have us read them out loud!!! But then, he did, and I had to verbalize what was only in my heart prior to this morning. THEN he made us go around the room and read them again, but change the “I want” to “I will”:
- I will lose 100 pounds.
- I will be able to run again.
- I will lose as much weight as possible and be in the best shape of my life by Dec. 22nd.
- I will change my life expectancy.
- I will change forever – not just 20 weeks, but forever.
- I will be an example to my kids, especially Peter.
That was the easiest thing we did all morning.
Next we had to write down our Number 1 obstacle to achieving our objectives.
Mine was Fear of failure – even after I’ve succeeded.
When we went around the room, he talked to each one of us individually about our obstacle – the one we listed as top of the list. To me, he said I had to develop a warrior mentality. He said that I have to know I’m going to succeed, that “I’m going to win.” If it takes stripping down and looking at myself in the mirror naked – if that’s what it takes to make me say “NO MORE” – then that’s what he will make me do.
Me? A warrior? Seriously??? He clearly doesn’t know who he is talking to!!! I can’t even stand up to my dog, much less face down something as big as my weight!
But then I wonder, what about my goals? Aren’t they important? Aren’t they worth the effort? Are they?
Peter is. Matthew – he certainly is. Samuel is worth the effort for sure. Brad is. But am I? Am I worth this effort, because I don’t know that any other motivator is going to be enough. Am I worth taking the next 20 weeks to become extremely selfish and focus on my own body and weight loss? Even if that’s not the right thing to do, if it’s the only way for me to do it, am I worth it?
I’m not sure. I’m just not sure.
Caption Meredith wrote said “Twinkies!”. Yeah, I suppose that’s fitting.
