You’ve heard of the vacation. You’ve heard of the “stay-cation”. Allow me to introduce you to the (drum roll please)…”SICK-cation”!!!

Phase One: pack up everything in your home for a week at the grandparents. Send the boys outside to burn off excess energy prior to the normally 5.5 hour drive.

Five minutes later, put all 3 boys in time-out for attempting to kill each other with plastic lightsabers. Start final walk-through of house just in time to hear husband yell that one of the boys just threw up. During race downstairs to help, begin calculating time already invested in packing the car.

After some Sprite, boy feels fine so we officially label it an “anomaly”. ¬†After 7.5 hours driving through HEAVY traffic, finally arrive at grandparents and have a late dinner. Boy looks and acts fine, so we smugly agree it was good we came on.

Phase Two: awaken at 5:30am (along with everyone else in the house) to the unmistakable sound of husband throwing up in the bathroom. Begin to question anomaly theory. ¬†Spend day juggling boys, Lysol and Ginger Ale while trying not to think about the horrendous sounds coming from the bathroom. Begin formulating new theory: food poisoning. Yeah, yeah! That’s it!

By Sunday evening, the worst is over for husband and no one else is sick. Spend Monday trying to forget Sunday. By Monday evening, I start feeling bad but have a new theory: PMS. Yeah, yeah, that’s it!

Phase Three: wake up Tuesday morning sick as a dog. Find myself remembering fondly last episode of PMS. By Tuesday night, worst is over. Everyone now has to accept the fact that we do, indeed, have a stomach virus.

Spend Wednesday recovering, then head on home Thursday, leaving mom & dad to clean up the mess.

There you have it! Your own personal guide to a “sick-cation” – that little-known alternative to the “stay-cation”.

Pleasant dreams!